Tuesday, May 19

Think like a man?

He says: I’m not looking for a relationship. She hears: ...yet. He says: I like spending time with you. She hears: …but eventually you could be my wife. I am not a player, nor do I have the desire to ever become one. I had an opportunity to speak with several women this weekend regarding Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like a Lady…Think Like a Man. I’ll be picking it up shortly for my own case study, but from what I understand, he breaks down the “complexities” of the male mind for women. As a man, I don’t intend for my words to be interpreted in any other way than how they come out of my mouth. I’ve come to understand that women are not so direct with their speech. It’s almost as though their communication is an experience, versus being merely a means to an end. Women sometimes relate to men with the expectation that men are going to respond to them in the same way they do. So, when a man says I’m not looking for a relationship, but she thinks his behavior is relationship-ish…she may choose to overlook his words and believe that his actions speak louder.

So, where do players fit into to all of this? Time and time again I've come across female "victims." I believe players have an uncanny ability to manipulate; understanding that women are prone to cling to certain words or actions over others. Understanding what a woman wants is not difficult for a man to figure out, because she’ll tell you. But a man may sometimes let a woman fill in the blank with whatever she wants. He might say, “I’m not looking for a serious relationship”…but my guy is spending nights at a time at her house, eating her home cooking, AND taking out the trash. In her mind they may already be acting out what she defines as a serious relationship. Communication is one of the most significant things on which I believe men and women differ. Do women really have to think like men to know what’s really up?


  1. I actually just purchased this book and I love it. There are some things that are too generalized to be ALL men, but for the most part its so true. We end up setting ourselves up because we hear what we want to hear. Yes we have to think like a man, because men don't think like us. It would save us a whole lot of heartbreak if we could. I for one plan to use Steve's advice and do just that.

  2. If, as a woman, you understand that you're prone to hear what you want to hear, wouldn't that just mean that you could easily just stop turning your man's words into what you want to hear? Do you really have to get into his head if he's just saying what's on his mind?

  3. I had a young lady come to my graduation party with that book clutched under her arms. My sister also drove up from Houston with the book. If women would just listen to what a man says despite his actions, they will be a lot better off. Stop giving men what they want if you are not getting what you want. Men are complex and our actions might not concur with our words, but if you pay attention to our words you will be ok. You don't need a divorced man to tell you about men. Consider your source.
    Kid D

  4. Men are not that complex Kid. Women just have to understand that they have to go with our words, because that's where the meat of our intentions lie. Actions are less significant to men than they are to women.