Where Do I Begin?

Time and time again, I come across numerous blog posts or notes regarding relationships. I understand why this is such a hot topic, especially among my peers; but it seems that the most important person is often left out of these discussions...me. No, I'm not talking about JD Pennywise!! I'm referring to us (myself included), and how we often jump into relationships when we're all kind of screwed up with expectations that another person is going to solve our problems. It's funny to me how we sometimes take on the responsibilities of a relationship long before we're ready. What's up with the rush? Would you jump out of a plane without a parachute, or go bungee jumping without a cord? Then why set yourself up for failure when it comes to something as important as your relationship?

See, men and women are different, and I think our differences are a beautiful thing; but if a man or a woman can't act right, can you really blame that on the entire gender?

Don't get me wrong, I think the discussions on relationships are great, and they provide some valuable insight; but sometimes the solution was right here all along.

You know who you are...or do you?

I remember the first time we met
Okay maybe not the VERY first time
But I do remember when I met you the second time around
And it was different…

I couldn’t put my finger on it
But it was as if all these years I hadn’t really known you
I hadn’t really seen you, I hadn’t really…
Well, you know

I couldn’t help but admire your smile
The way you looked into my eyes like…
Like you saw something in me that no one else could see
It was as if you saw…me

And as I got to know more about you
I wanted to open myself up to you more
I wanted to take you on a journey through my mind
Through the good, the ugly, and the bad

As I pulled you in deeper, you followed
We passed through the crust, and down into the depths
I told you my secrets…my innermost thoughts
I stood before you naked...

Vulnerable.

No Homo?

As men, I don't believe we use the phrase "I love you" enough. When was the last time you told your father you love him? Or your brother? I think we often assume that its just understood. He knows...right?

It seems that within our culture there is a mold which we all must fill to be considered masculine. Real men don't cry. Real men don't get emotional. Real men are tough...and the list could go on. But we're human. And there are times when we do these things that society considers feminine. Telling another man "I love you" falls into this category. We don't talk to each other about these types of feelings!

If a man in your life were to die today, would you be at peace assuming that he knew you loved him, although you never said it? Would you hold your tears because thats not something men do? Or would you wish for the opportunity to have told him while he could have heard your voice?

Don't hesitate to take the time to tell the people you care about that you love them. Life is too short.

Can You Judge a Book By Its Cover?

Watching the Michael Jackson memorial service this afternoon, I heard a couple of phrases that caught my attention; "Innocent until proven guilty...[and]...wasn't nothin' strange about your daddy!!!" It seems as though the United States had a love hate relationship with Michael. Even in his death, we still see this being played out. I even recall growing up how we used to make jokes about this man, who we respected so much on the one hand, and slapped with our criticisms on the other. And what gave us the right to make these hasty judgments against someone we didn't even know outside of his stage presence?

I may never know, or understand Michael's experience in life; his concerns; his struggles; his thought process. But...do I really need to?

I believe Smokey Robinson said in best in his song, "Tears of a Clown." How many times do we wear a smile for the public, when we're torn to pieces on the inside? When Michael got on stage, we never cared about what his hurts were, his pain, his health. All we wanted was to see him entertain us...and that's just what he did. In spite of the media and public accusations. I know I put on a smile when I go out at times , but can you imagine doing that for the entire world? He never backed down. Whether we loved him or hated him, he kept giving us all he had.

What makes us so righteous that we feel we can scrutinize this man, regardless of what the legal system has determined? And maybe his issue with vitiligo was a blessing? It may have helped him surpass the issue of color, but no matter how successful he was, it showed us he was human. Michael was just a man...but he had a purpose.

When you look at the man, or woman, in the mirror, what do you see?